Sweet Child

You've been working hard

I know a lot of people my age have been working relentlessly hard to get even one rung up the ladder. I know a lot of people my age have also been under immense scrutiny for not being where others expect us to be for our age. And that fucking sucks.

"Go to college." We did that.

"Work hard to get good grades!" We did that, too.

"Well why aren't you doing the thing you went to school for?" Please, Susan. Stick to your dry meatloaf recipe and leave me alone. 

I don't know what else we are expected to do. I went to college, worked shitty summer jobs to get money, and even went back to get my M.F.A.  What do I have to show? Unemployed and cannot even get a call back from the local movie theater for a minimum wage job. You know why? I'm now overqualified. I did what I was told and now I can't even get a shit paying job. What a great time I'm having being belittled by my parents that don't understand why I'm stuck here with nothing to show.

I have friends that went for more "ambitious" and/or "useful" degrees and guess where they are right now. The same boat as me. Living at home, taking whatever work that comes along. Constantly pushing for the jobs we were told would be there once we obtained a degree. Not that I'm expecting a job, because that would play into the idea that everyone my age feels entitled to everything. I'm only relaying what was told to me as a young 18-year-old. I am constantly trying to explain to my parents what is going on right now:

The jobs expected to open up once I graduated are no longer opening up because people are working until they are 80 instead of retiring at 60 or 65 because things are so god damn expensive. It. Fucking. Sucks. 

My main point for this post is to let people know that you're doing great. It may not seem like things are going your way or you may feel like giving up, believe me, everyone feels that way. There is so much holding us back and so much making the future seem muddled. We will get there. And you know what? It's okay to take a break once in awhile to let your head get a better grip on what is going on.

You've worked hard to get here. Soak it in. If no one else has said it to you up to this point: I'm so proud of you. It doesn't matter where you are in life according to others. You know where you want to be, you know what you want out of life and you're working towards it one way or another. Someone might get to their goal before you, and it's okay. You can be a little envious, but don't let it distract you from your goal. Keep chugging away. Both at your goal and celebratory drinks (if you're into that.)

All I'm saying is that one day, I hope you're sitting in your dream house with whatever your dream is...be it a family, a garage full of exotic cars, your own beach, I don't know. Whatever you want. I hope you have it one day. Whether it be next week or years from now. Don't give up on yourself.

Things I'm Addicted To

Don't judge me

Having no job means no money. No money means I can't do shit besides sit at home and wish I was out. I also sometimes try and guilt my mom into buying me Taco Bell where I shame eat alone in my room and watch other people be happy on Netflix. C'est la vie!

My point is: I have nothing to really write about at the moment. So, I've come up with a list of weird things I'm addicted to. Hopefully others find these just as addicting, otherwise, I'm just a giant weirdo and all my sneaking suspicions that I'm too weird are correct. Probably the latter. Fuck.

Onto the list:

• Q-Tips, the number one thing you shouldn't do with these cotton angels is stick them in your ear and rub them around for that joyous eargasam. I used to do it at least twice a day because I cannot stand when my ears feel dirty. I also used to get a massive ear infection at least every other month. My tonsils and adenoids were removed because my ENT doctor told me that was the reason for my ear infections. Hahaha, major surgery because I'm a freaking weirdo. 

• Dyeing my hair, killing it with bleach and then drowning it in hair masks once a month (or when I remember and feel like it.) Give me all the colors and all the shades. I've wanted lilac hair for the longest time. Rose gold hair to make my eyes pop. But I'm an adult now and can't do that shit anymore. I have to stick to the normal colors like brown and blonde and red. 

• Cheese. Must I explain this one?

• Collecting weird things and never using them. I just cleaned out my trunk because I have a Groupon for a car detailing and need my car empty. I fucking found plastic golf clubs in there. I bought them in college to play mini golf in the dorms. No one ever wanted to play mini golf with me. Am I weird? Who the fuck doesn't wanna play mini golf? I also had a trident I made with a broom handle and cardboard stacked and cut to look like the top, all spray painted gold. It's cool as fuck, you can't even judge me for that one. 

• Star Wars. I wouldn't say it's an unhealthy obsession, but probably more bad than good. I could be minding my own business on Facebook and a god damn advertisement comes by like, "Star Wars character necklace HALF OFF!" Oh, fuck me sideways, HALF? There's no way I can't at least look at what they have to offer. As I sit there with my Millennium Falcon necklace on and a R2-D2 necklace hanging off my dresser with my BB-8 ring chilling on the shelf above me and the multitude of themed earrings sitting in my jewelry box with even more on my Amazon wishlist. I have my life in order, obviously. Just let me go eat popcorn out of my Stormtrooper head bowl and drink out of my Darth Vader cup. Did my Death Star ball roll behind the couch again? Why does my friend still have my Ewok stuffed animal? My Ewok tattoo is bigger than my Millennium Falcon tattoo, the Lightsaber one I eventually get has to be the same size as the Ewok I think. WHERE IS MY SECOND CHEWY STUFFED ANIMAL?! I've said too much. 

I think we are done here.