Better Late Than Never

Not a period reference

I'm late with my second blog post. Part of me was hoping to do a post every Thursday, but we see how that worked out. I knew what I wanted to write about days ago, but I'm a slacker. On with it, then!

I met this guy. He is really quite amazing and probably everything a girl could ask for: charming, cute, caring, actually wanted to be seen with me in public. You know, all the important things. Especially that last one. Or not, I may be asking for too much on that one. 

Anyway. Imagine that! A man that honestly wants me and likes me and all that good stuff. (Though I'm pretty sure the sex helped sway him a little.) So, you obviously know what I did.

I GOT OUT OF THERE FASTER THAN A DOG WHEN IT HEARS A CHIP BAG OPENING. 

Sabotage? No, I'll go with stupidity. I essentially had the dream man, but then I spooked. 

"I thought he was going to be my future son-in-law!" My mom was very upset when I told her I ended things. "Are you serious?" She yelled and slammed down a bowl of white rice onto the dinner table. Her squinty eyes were somehow bigger than normal in a more almond shape, probably straining them so I could better see the disappointment. "You make your own decisions, but I don't agree with you." Thanks for having my back on that one, mom. 

"You wanted me to be unhappy just so I was with someone you like?" I tried. It didn't work. Her mom-beam was too over-bearing-- I MEAN...powerful. Yeah, powerful. Heh.

"You looked happy." Her pursed lips told me she was done with the discussion. Forget what I want, right? My dad sat at the other end of the table quietly like this: 

Truth is? This guy wrote me a love letter of sorts explaining how happy he was with me. Telling me that he felt exhilarated every time we were together. That he was falling for me.

I felt nothing.

How could I possibly allow it to go on anymore if I knew it wasn't going to be worth it for him? What if I stayed with him purely because he was a good guy that my mom happened to like and then a year down the road I realize I won't ever have feelings for him? And maybe a year down the road I could have ended up really liking him, no one knows how things like that work. But there's always the off chance I was just wasting his time. That's not fair for anyone. 

Or maybe I'm just a selfish asshole that has standards way higher than they should be? 

Tune in next week (or really later this week, who the hell knows what I'm doing) where I make more bad decisions!