Saturday, January 13, 2018

What A Bright Future...

...with little spots of darkness

When you're little, it is normal to have a crush on your parent. Little girls usually get all giddy and say they will marry their fathers and little boys swear their lives on their mother being their only one. It's cute, sometimes a little weird if the kid gets too old to be saying it. Possibly sort of serial killerish, too. Who am I to judge, though? 

Of course, when you get older, you might start to notice flaws in your parents. I'm not saying they are awful people, just little things you would rather not have to deal with in a forever partner. Obviously, your forever partner will als have flaws, but everyone does and it is stuff you can handle on a daily basis without wanting to shank him or her. Or maybe you do want to shank them, but you hold back. Love: it's crazy fucked up.

This is a very convoluted way to get to my main point: I don't want someone like my father. Don't get me wrong, I love my father. He works hard and never gives up on his family no matter what. He's always there if you need something. Like the time I ran out of gas on the way home from work and he showed up with a gas can and a sarcastic remark about me being smart. He yelled at my for a second on the phone, but he still left the warm house to come help me out in the cold weather. I'm not questioning him as a person or saying he is a shit father. He isn't what I want as a partner for one specific reason. 

He likes to believe in the old standards for men and women. 
 

He is a classic believer in women cook and clean while men do the handy work. I get that sometimes it's easier for one person to do something because they are more skilled in the one specific skill, but why leave it up to gender? In my almost 25 years of life, I have never once seen my father grocery shop. I joke with my mom that my dad will probably lose his shit when she dies because he won't know how to live. When he gets home from work, dinner is done. He puts his empty lunch containter in the sink and expects my mom to wash it for him so he can make his lunch for the next day with dinner leftovers. One time my mom refused to do it, "You won't serve your man?" He said it as a joke, but then when my mom still refused to do it because she also works just like him, he said he doesn't need lunch and will buy food from the food truck instead. 2 hours went by before my mom gave in and cleaned the container and made him lunch. 

You are a full grown man. You know how to soap a sponge and clean your shit and put food in a container. 

I don't understand why my mother lets him get away with petty shit like that. She will wait on him hand and foot and then complain that he never helps. If you expect him to do something, then you need to stop treating him like a child. The worst part is that my brother has seen my father do this and now expects the same. When he comes over for dinner, he does not one bit of help. He won't even bring his plate to the sink. My mom even goes as far as not asking him for help. One time, I said something to her about why I have to work so hard and my brother gets to sit on the couch.

"Because you are a girl and he is a man. Girls are supposed to do this."

Excuse me? Just because I was born with tits and a weird triangle between my legs, I have to work my ass off in the kitchen while the men get to drink and relax? I call bullshit. Shove me back in and send me out with a dong. I don't even care how much I love getting dicked down, I don't want to be a female if this is the type of shit I have to deal with my entire life. 

I remember one time my mom was commenting that the dish washer smelled a little funny. My dad said it's fine and it's supposed to clean itself when dishes are in there. I told him that's not right and you have to run it with no dishes every once in awhile to keep it clean. He told me that's not true. "Put dishes in and run it. See how clean it gets." Yes, because putting dirty dishes in there and expecting the entire thing to get clean makes so much sense. I tried telling him that it doesn't make sense and he said I don't know what I'm talking about. 


Girls are allowed to knows things men don't know, dad. Did I mention that my dad didn't know what a hymen was? Had to explain that to him when I laughed at a hockey player's name and how the announcers said, "And there's hymen, breaking in front of the net!"

I don't want a man that expects things to be done for him just because he has a penis. My weird triangle should not limit me to being your servant. 







...I'll serve that dick, though. 

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