I have such a vivid imagination and it has definitely made my life interesting, to say the least. I've lived in so many different stories in my head alone, not even counting the real world where shenanigans were plenty. A lot of people compliment my "creative mind" and often wish they had a similar skill. I just wish I had a more realistic sense of the world.
These ever-growing ideas that swirl in my head have only made it harder to grow up in the "real world." I expected my life to be different by now - to have more umph if you will. Books, movies, tv all pointed to adults as these well put together with their worries being things like getting their kid's favorite toy for Christmas or rushing home because you left the country without one of your kids. Sorry, bad examples - it's the holidays and the examples are pretty limited right now with the lineup. You get the picture, though. I hope.
I thought my start to "adulthood" would be...bigger. Better. Not wetter though. It's plenty wet - I'll spare the details. I just expected more. A different job. A different town. A different love life. Different everything. Not that I'm complaining, per se. My life now isn't all that bad. I have a nice apartment - maybe not a working vacuum right now. And maybe I have to wait a few paychecks to be able to buy a new vacuum. But a nice apartment. A good job with great people. A loving family. I have like 1 or 2 real good friends. It's not all awful.
Compared to what I thought my life would be at this point? It's garbage. If all went like my imagination, I'd be in a loft apartment in Philly with big windows and a view of the dazzling city lights. Palpatine, my cat, still exists. He just has tons more room to run and more window perches. There would be a medium sized balcony where I could install a hot tub and still have room for a table, chairs, and a grill. My days would be spent working at a publishing house, working as an editor. Maybe I could teach one or two creative writing night classes. There would be people happy to see me come home, like cool neighbors that would bring wine over some nights that we happily drink out on the balcony, watching the city. One of my hilarious and handsome male neighbors would slowly fall in love with me and we would make each other happy. I've gotten carried away now.
I know, Han. I know. But I'd also have like two or three best-selling novels out too. You know, no big deal. I'd also like the underscore/dash key on my laptop to not be stuck down after Palpatine chewed it off. Went to fix it after writing that sentence and I'm pretty sure it's now completely broken off. Whoops.
I know I'm still young and I have a long road ahead of me in every aspect of life, but I'm so impatient and my mind keeps throwing out these ideas and it's making it so hard to see what I have now. This makes me sound ungrateful. I'm an asshole.
Also, been thinking a lot about nostalgia. I was OBSESSED with writing fanfiction when I was younger. In fact, I was 13 when I started writing and it was fanfiction that got me going. Embarrassing yet inspiring? None the less, I've been thinking about it a lot lately and even tried to go and read old fanfiction but my god it was all awful. We were just a bunch of overzealous kids trying to write complicated stories with absolutely no formal training. It was entertaining though. I was thinking about doing something similar on this blog. Maybe posting a chapter a week or more likely posting a chapter when I remember/feel like it. It wouldn't be so much fanfiction to readers as it would be to me as I'm writing it. It would feel like a normal story to you as you read along. I don't know if that is something people would be into or not. No one ever leaves comments on here so I'm going to assume it's a good idea and go for it starting soon. Good talk everyone. Glad you could be here.
GO BIRDS
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